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Pam Wheeler gets in a hug with her son Michael McDonald before his deployment to Afghanistan in 2010. McDonald returned home but later took his own life.
Statistics say 22 veterans succumb to suicide every day in the United States. That horrific number shows the strain and pressure our servicemen and women go through to serve the nation, and it lingers long after their service is over.
Pam Wheeler started an organization last fall called Creating Ties That Bind to help veterans and their families in need. The impetus to create it was born out of her family’s personal tragedy.
Her oldest son, Michael McDonald, served in the U.S. Army from 2007 to 2016, rising to the rank of Sergeant as a combat medic. He deployed to Afghanistan in 2010.
“He got to see a lot of everything,” Wheeler said. “He was never the same when he came back home. He dealt with it pretty well for a few years, but where he lived, they had a bad thunderstorm and it triggered him. He had been going to the VA, but they don’t address the issues like they should.”
Sometime before Jan. 31, 2021, McDonald walked to a cemetery and took his own life.
His younger brother Steven was devastated by the loss.
“They were so close,” Wheeler said. “Most of the time, if you saw one, you saw the other. He just couldn’t deal with it.”
Four months later, Steven also committed suicide.
Wheeler started Creating Ties That Bind to change the future for other families who may not have to face the tragedy their family has.
“If I can help one family member, one soldier, anyone, it’s worth it,” Wheeler said. “If my baby had someplace he thought he could turn, maybe things could have been different. I will do anything to keep another person from going through what we have been through.”
Wheeler said it is not just those returning from conflicts who need help.
“I want to let the soldiers know they are not alone, but I also want the families to know they are not alone,” Wheeler said. “You don’t hear a lot about what is being done to help Gold Star or 22 a day
families.”
Wheeler said the goal is to pair someone in need of help with someone to talk to.
“It’s kind of like having a sponsor in AA,” Wheeler said. “We want to create a kind of buddy system where someone who has gone through something has someone to talk to. My phone is always on 24-7, and if they call me, we’ll talk on the phone, we’ll meet at Waffle House, whatever. Some people won’t talk with a therapist, but they will talk with someone who has been through some of the same things.”
The number for Creating Ties That Bind is 706-982-3380 and they host socials on the third Thursday of every month from 6-9 p.m. at Tiger Town Hall in Rabun County.
“Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Soldier, Veteran, Everyone Has In Some Way Been Wounded By The Loss Of A Loved One,” the organization’s web site (creatingtiesthatbind.org) reads. “As Long As The Ties That Bind Them Are Stronger Than Those That Would Tear Them Apart, All Will Be Well.”