Rowan Edmonds
I still vividly remember the first time I saw my boyfriend, Cam. I was 18 years old and exploring my new college campus with my friend. We walked past the soccer fields where he was in a scrimmage with his team. For some reason, he stood out to me.
Maybe it was because I thought he was Australian (for whatever reason when he yells he does it in this accidental accent), but I was instantly drawn to him. We met a few weeks later through mutual friends, and it was love at first sight. OK, not exactly.
After two years of a strictly platonic relationship, a few different relationships for both of us, and a lot of self-reflection, we finally admitted our feelings for each other. Almost a year and a half later, we’re happier than ever.
Now it’s time to settle down, get married, and have a couple of kids, right? That’s what everyone else is doing. I mean, I’m 21, going into my senior year of college, and I still don’t have a ring on my finger? Wow, there must be something wrong with us.
Unfortunately, that’s what a lot of people think nowadays. There is this societal pressure to get married and settle down as fast as possible. If you’re 30 and single, it’s time to accept you’re never going to find anyone. (This is sarcasm. Don’t worry my single 30-year-old friends, there is still somebody out there for you).
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with getting married young if that’s what you want to do. However, I feel like it’s not talked about enough, how much everyone is always saying, “Oh, when are they going to get married?” or “I already had two kids by her age.” If that’s what you want to do, that’s fine, but it’s not for me.
I want to graduate college, travel the world, and kick off my career. Do I want Cam by my side through it all? Absolutely, he’s my person. But that doesn’t mean we’re ready to get married. When we get married, it will be when we are ready and much later in life.
My parents raised me with a “your 20s are for you” mindset, and I will stand by that until I die. People change so much in their 20s, and sometimes they enter their 20s with someone they expect to spend their life with, but when they get older, they might realize they made a mistake. I don’t need something as binding as marriage weighing me down at 21.
This doesn’t mean the feelings my boyfriend and I have for each other are any less real, trust me. Before I met him, I never even wanted to get married, it just wasn’t for me. However, after being with Cam for some time, I realize that I do want to be his wife, just in seven or eight years.
I had a real conversation with someone my age who said, “I need to get married now so I can be on my second wife by the time I’m 30.” Do people nowadays get married to get divorced? Is that a thing now? I’d rather wait until I’m pushing 30 for marriage, and thankfully, the person I’m with now is in the same boat as me.
Do I think we’ll face some judgment eight years from now if we’re not married with kids and still just dating? Probably. But it’s my life, and that decision belongs to us and no one else. All of my cousins are much older than me, all married with kids. Realistically the next person in the family to get married is my sister or me, seeing as we’re the only ones in the family who aren’t yet.
I love my family, but if I have to hear one more time, “Oh, when are you and Cam getting married?” or “Are you planning to have kids any time soon?” I will scream. Sorry guys, you’ll have to wait a few more years.
Rowan Edmonds is an intern at The Northeast Georgian and a staff member at The Roar at Piedmont University.