Pushing off the bank, I told him it would get better. With a few twists of the paddle from the bow, the john boat was positioned just right for both boys to make a cast down the bank. However, our Habersham native son, the younger one, was torqued completely out by the swarm.
As his older brother fired a cast parallel with the grassy bank, Fenn said, “I swear!” and put his face back in his hands. I chuckled. Then I wondered where he had learned that expression, but I was relieved that he had blurted out a five-letter word instead of a four-letter word. For this 10-year-old, “stupid” is still a dirty word, and I hope that mindset continues.
Perched on the transom of the boat, William seemed fine. Putting down the paddle, I tried to get Fenn to fish from the middle of the boat, but he wasn’t having any of it. Finally, I got him to turn around and look at me, and I could see that the dead gnats smeared on his face almost matched his freckles.
When we were moving to Habersham County 11 years ago this week, I stopped my truck at the Dairy Lane restaurant in Sandersville. I needed to stretch my legs, get a strawberry milkshake and make sure I released any straggling gnats in the cab of my truck. By no means did I want to be accused of smuggling seed gnats into our new hometown.
Growing up below the Gnat Line, you learn how to deal with the hateful, flying specks. Exhaling forcefully off your bottom lip to cover your face and repel gnats is an art. A true South Georgian can carry on a conversation while defending his face with each breath and not skip a beat. Hmmm. Maybe that’s how we developed our deliberate drawl over the eons.
This time of year, three types of gnats torment Southeast Georgia: common gnats, shad gnats and the dreaded No See’ums. Each type has its way of delivering delirium to anyone born north of Macon. And all of them attack in a swarm.
The common gnat hovers by the hundreds just outside the door of any freshly parked vehicle. Then as soon as the unsuspecting victim opens the car door a couple hundred invade the face’s orifices. Simultaneously, a hundred more fly into the vehicle and cling to the inside of windshield. (This is how the gnat finds new territory.) As the victim begins to defend himself in a frantic convulsion, invariably at least one makes it to the brain side of the victim’s eyeball.
The shad gnat is best known to the boaters of Southeast Georgia. Much larger than other gnats, this type bounces up and down on the banks of any stretch of water. They are infamous for sticking to the uvula of their victim and causing a choking cough and tears. Normally, they attack as the victim becomes short of breath while launching or pulling out a boat. Thankfully, they never leave the bank.
And then there is the dreaded No See’ums. These sneaky devils are undetectable until several dozen have made their way to the base of your hair follicles. Then with precise rhythm they slice with a razor motion with their fangs on your scalp. It is said that if No See-ums were the size of mockingbirds, coastal Georgia would be uninhabited.
Trying to beat the fading sun and land a mossy-back bass, I failed to spray my boys’ caps with repellent before beginning our fishing trip the other Saturday. Wiping the smeared gnats off Fenn’s face, I promised to do better. But I believe from now on, he’ll remind me.
Here’s to the 154.7 miles that separate Habersham County from the Georgia gnat line!
Alan NeSmith is the publisher of The Northeast Georgian. Reach him at 706-778-4215 or anesmith@TheNortheastGeorgian.com.