Matthew Osborne
When explaining my column this week to my wife, I told her it was “Uncle Traveling Matt meets Andy Rooney.” If you are old enough to know who both of those people are, you will probably appreciate what I have to say.
I had an appointment in Marietta last Friday, and I had just enough time to swing by Kennesaw State for a cup of coffee with my son.
The landscape seemed strange, and I soon realized why. Normally we see him on weekends, and the Marietta campus of KSU usually resembles “I am Legend” on Saturdays and Sundays. On this day, there were actual humans around, the campus stores were open and activity was buzzing.
But ordering coffee was not as easy as it seemed.
I’m getting ahead of myself, though. Before I could get coffee, I had to park.
The ticket machine in the parking garage was broken, but it was no big deal. You could just download an app and enter your information there, license plate and all. Easy as pie.
But in the garage, you can’t get a signal on your phone, defeating the purpose of this technological advancement.
Fortunately, the first 30 minutes are free anyway, and I was in a hurry with the appointment looming. So on to Starbucks we went.
When we got there, I walked up to the fine gentleman manning the barista station on campus. But one man held up his hand to stop me before I could order my latte.
“You have to order on Grubhub,” he said.
“But I’m standing right here,” I replied.
The gentleman gestured as if to say, “Don’t make me tap the Grubhub sign on the counter.”
Hunter did not seem fazed by ordering online right in front of the same men who will make our coffee, but it’s 2023, and so we did.
We entered our choices and heard a little ping from the television above our heads.
“Look, we’re No. 8,” Hunter said, noting that our order was now “being prepared.”
We waited longer than usual for our coffees, and despite having all my specific information entered on an app five feet from them, they still messed up my order.
Technology, indeed.
Yes, there are ways that technology has improved our ability to acquire food. I recently became slightly less of a “boomer” (in my son’s eyes, not a part of that generation, technically) by mastering DoorDash. My younger co-workers were proud of me for learning this basic 21st century skill.
When I was in college in Washington, D.C., we could basically order any kind of food at any hour. But we had to use what our parents called a “landline phone.” Ours was at least cordless, though, as I recall.
Delivery is one thing. Ordering online right in front of the dudes is still ridiculous. I would rather talk to them and tell them what I want.
But hey, I am old school.
Next we’ll talk about my frustrations with Amazon, after I get some people off my lawn.
Matthew Osborne is the editor of The Northeast Georgian. Reach him at 706-778-4215 or editor@TheNortheastGeorgian.com.