Matthew Osborne
I laugh at my kids all the time, deriding how dumb some of their video games are.
Sure, they still play Legend of Zelda – or at least modern derivations of it – but they are always trying to catch Pokemon, or nab some dude in Fortnite, or whatever and none of it matters to me at all.
I like sports games myself, and when sports games started to get good in the 1990s, they were simply about sports. Run, pass, shoot, dunk, score. Easy for sports folks to understand, and that is the way I still like my sports games.
Fast forward to the other day when I was playing in my Madden football season. Apparently, playing the games is not enough, as you are required to negotiate contracts with virtual players (such greed, I have never seen, seriously), scout college players and remake your team each offseason.
In addition, you have to deal with in-season drama, which I don’t care for.
Despite currently being in the midst of an MVP-level 2,000-yard campaign, Virtual A.J. Brown sends me – the “coach” – a text saying he was not featured in the gameplan enough the previous week.
Humph.
As if I have to justify this to an imaginary AI player, but I was winning big and trying to avoid him picking up extra hits.
But no matter. Sure, A.J., you’ve got my word that I will get you involved in the next game.
I started that game before realizing that Sam and Ollie wanted me to drive them to the balloon festival over in Helen. Looking at the time, it was going to be enough of a zoo as it was if we left that moment, so I had little time to spare. I used the “fast forward” feature to complete the game and get ready to go out and mingle with the human race instead.
After more than an hour in the car just making our way through Helen, only to find out there was no parking left (couldn’t anyone come by and tell us?), we finally found a place to park and marched our way up to the festival.
It was a sight to see all those giant balloons, almost making all the hassle to get in there worth it. But it spilled over into a complete W when Sam and Ollie got to ride in one of the balloons, a prospect that seemed bleak when we first arrived due to the volume of people.
And so, small victory in hand and family time well spent, we returned home to dinner plans with truncated preparation time and a quiet evening at home.
But there was that lingering “text” from Virtual A.J. Brown.
“Coach, why did you let me down?” it said, since I had simulated the game, followed by my PlayStation informing me that my star player’s “morale” had dropped by 20 points.
First, who measures their morale by points? Second, dude, I am sorry that I chose my real family over you. Wait, why am I even feeling bad about this? It’s not the real A.J. Brown.
(If it was, I would totally feel bad. I would never do you like that, A.J., I promise, buddy.)
Third, when I was a kid, my video games did not get mad or disappointed with me. I long for those days.
Anyway, here’s to family fun this summer, along with the Virtual and Actual Eagles winning the Super Bowl this year.
Matthew Osborne is the editor of The Northeast Georgian. Reach him at 706-778-4215 or editor@TheNortheastGeorgian.com.