by Matt Aiken
Matt Aiken
At first glance it looks like something a 43-year-old shouldn’t be riding. At second glance it looks like that too. And there’s probably a good reason for that.
Because it’s something called the OneWheel.
And it’s kind of like a skateboard … but with one wheel.
I first saw one on the square a couple years ago when a non-43-year-old college kid confidently whizzed by my Honda like Marty McFly on a hoverboard.
“Whoa,” I said.
As a kid of the 80s there was no imaginary toy more sought after than the awesome Back to the Future II hover-board. Except for maybe a real working lightsaber. But that’s fictional and requires too much Jedi training.
So I immediately went to the internet and looked it up. There I discovered that the OneWheel is a self balancing skateboard with one big tire in the middle. To ride you just lean forward or back or side to side.
I was tempted to buy one right away, but really it seemed like too much money to spend on a thing that would most likely send me straight to urgent care. More recently they introduced the OneWheel Pint. It’s slightly smaller and half the price, which allows for more HSA savings.
So a couple months ago I ordered one and eagerly watched online as it was shipped from the factory in Santa Monica, California and slowly made its way across the country. And then finally to my front porch.
Then it was in my front yard, as my family gathered around to watch me take my first proud step on my brand new OneWheel.
And, at that point, my entire center of gravity shifted.
Yes, as I tried to balance on the self-balancing board my Iegs did some kind of weebly-wobbly dance, kind of like the Charleston, and I stumbled backwards. My supportive family responded by laughing loudly and heartily for a solid minute.
You know, it turns out one of the most common injuries with a One-Wheel is a broken collarbone.
Not a wrist. Why? Because if you fall off a OneWheel, you usually fall so fast that you don’t have time to put your arms down.
Um, in case my mom is reading this, most of those injuries are caused because people go too fast and do crazy things. I ride responsibly. And I also wear a helmet. And also wrist guards. And also I’m writing this portion of the column specifically for my parents.
Anyways after nearly falling on my face I hopped off and studied the OneWheel. And as it eyed me like an ornery pony I was tempted to go back to the safety of my sofa. There’s Netflix there and plenty of snacks.
But then I figured if I didn’t get back on I’d just have to hang my head in shame and send it back to Santa Monica.
So I hopped back on. And slowly and surely I began to feel like I wasn’t bound to break something. At first I did most of my wobbly riding at night, so the neighbors wouldn’t stare at me. Then I felt comfortable enough to venture into daylight. Then I moved to the upper section of Yahoola Creek Park. (That forgotten parking lot next to the old rugby field.) Then I moved to the bustling lower sections. Now, finally, I feel like I could keep up with that Marty McFly college kid.
In fact, as the gas prices continue to surge it’s gotten to the point that I often look at my electronic hover-board and wonder…
It gets about eight miles per one charge. I live less than eight miles from work. Do I dare?
No no. I definitely don’t. After all, I like my collarbones too much. But still..it is tempting.
So in the next few weeks if you see a fellow who looks much too old to be riding a one-wheeled contraption through town, don’t be alarmed. And if that fellow starts to do a weird weebly-wobbly knee dance, please, just look the other way.
Unless I’ve fallen and can’t get up. In that case, I might need to catch a ride to urgent care.
Matt Aiken is the publisher of The Dahlonega Nugget. Reach him at maiken@TheDahlonegaNugget.com.