Matthew Osborne
Reality TV is the worst … unless it’s the best.
To be more clear, a lot of reality television is absolutely terrible, mainly because it is an absolute misnomer. Most of it is actually quite scripted, or at least set up for specific situations with predictable results.
But sometimes, a show has just enough pixie dust sprinkled in its flaming dumpster to make it amazing.
My wife and I love the “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” as well as the “Real Housewives of New York,” because it gives us a tiny taste of what we left behind when we came back to the South. Except there, the negativity seen frequently on those shows is pretty much daily life, so it’s nice to be able to turn the channel when the show ends.
This year brought us the reboot of “Joe Millionaire,” which had two guys this time vying for the heart of 18 young ladies. The first iteration more than 20 years ago was much trashier, and I swear the dude they used was the twin of a guy I played ball with growing up.
The women did not know which one of the men was worth $10 million, but frankly, the other guy owned a contracting company, so he was doing pretty well for himself. It kind of belied the show being called “For Richer or Poorer.” It should have been “For Richer or Upper-Middle Class Guy Doing OK.”
Joe Millionaire had a local flavor, though, as it was filmed at Lakeshore Manor in Butts County. The group dates took place all over the region, including at Cenita Vineyards in White County, not far from the Habersham County line on Highway 115, as well as spots in Gainesville, McCaysville and other regional points of interest. The limos and Mercedes vans carrying the ladies and the gentlemen they wooed were passing all through this area throughout filming last summer.
One woman tried to use her golden coin (it will sound stupid if I explain that, so I won’t) to get more time with her intended man, but she decided too late and had to be driven from the manor to the winery in White County. It was fun trying to calculate how long that would take in the evening in “real” life, and she arrived far too late to make an impact on the date.
Those local aspects made the show more interesting, but the interactions were also fascinating. It is always interesting to see what premise a particular reality show cooks up in the lab and see it play out in what can somewhat be considered real life.
In this case, it was essentially allowing men and women to date without the pressures of work, financial issues or physical intimacy. Well, there was some physical intimacy, but no off-camera shenanigans were allowed.
Seeing how those relationships played out was an interesting experiment, but it can hardly be called reality. But 10 episodes and six podcasts later, I knew all there was to know about Joe Millionaire.
Another show I rather enjoyed was “Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska,” from about 20 years ago. If that sounds stupid, it was, but there were some fabulous television moments.
Six women from the Lower 48 went to Alaska on tiny prop planes landing on a sheet of ice to find love. After the men impressed them with their burly biceps and axe throwing feats of strength, they each picked the gentleman to whom they wanted to propose marriage.
So there they were in the finale, wearing wedding dresses and standing on that same sheet of ice, waiting for the planes to land. The hitch was, if the guy was on the plane, then he was basically saying yes. If he wasn’t, he opted out, if you will.
It was gripping TV to watch the plane land with the girl smiling and hopeful, then see the producer go to the door of the plane, look inside and just shake his head no ever-so slightly.
As the tears began to freeze on the young woman’s face, I realized I was probably one of a tiny percentage of morons actually watching this scenario play out.
Because things like that don’t happen in real life.
Matthew Osborne is the editor of The Northeast Georgian. Reach him at 706-778-4215 or editor@TheNortheastGeorgian.com.