Matthew Osborne
I get on my kids for playing too many video games during the summer and not getting out to do more, but I figure the cause is somewhat lost with the two teenagers.
As for Ollie, I feel there is still hope that he can enjoy outside activities, and we have been playing a lot of mini golf this summer.
It is sad that Habersham County does not have a mini golf course, even a small-scale one that is entwined with another business (you’re welcome if anyone steals this idea), but we have found places to play in White and Hall counties.
When Ollie first played mini golf, he was getting a lot of what I call Olligans. Those are mulligans, but specifically modified to take about 16 of them on a given hole.
He would whack the ball around like a hockey player, try to interfere with other players, the usual stuff. But while spending time messing around and trying to ruin everyone else’s round, a funny thing happened – he started to get a little better at it.
We always have ice cream after the mini golf rounds and why not? That’s not just a child’s bribe, frankly, because I love ice cream after mini golf, too.
Ollie is still working on his game, but I can see the slow development of interest in playing the game correctly. I have been longing for one of my sons to show an interest in knowing the rules of a sport and actually wanting to learn and play it for nearly two decades.
The other night, one of my sons – who I will not name out of discretion – said to me that he did not really understand the scoring rules of football. After the paramedics revived me some time later, I was able to gather myself and explain that there are really only three scoring plays that can occur, but I digress.
Ollie’s golf game has been coming around, though, and he recently got a hole-in-one on his favorite hole, the waterfall at our favorite course near Gainesville.
On Sunday afternoon, he was counting the strokes carefully and wondering if he had a chance to beat me. Truthfully, he did, as I only won by five strokes, a close call to be sure.
In the car later, he said “If I only didn’t have that 6 on that one hole, I could have won.”
Wow, one of my kids has been stricken with Specific Moment Sports Regret. I may need a minute for a cry, excuse me, please.
More than that, Ollie’s propensity to make a mockery of mini golf rules and regulations has dropped off significantly. In our last round, a little girl playing in front of us knocked her ball in the water nearby. Ollie kind of looked at her like, yep, that was me once.
Her dad tried to fish the ball out, but was unsuccessful. The bank was steep, and when the girl went away crying at the loss of her pink ball, Ollie started down the bank. Like the ill-fated blonde in “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade,” Ollie was like “I can get it. I can almost reach it, it’s right there.”
I took a look myself, as it seemed important to him that he retrieve the girl’s ball for her and make her happy. But ultimately, I had to channel my inner Sean Connery and tell him to let it go.
When we got to our traditional ice cream, Ollie somehow convinced the ladies at the parlor to load him up with four scoops and two flavors. I took a picture of him holding the ice cream monstrosity and he told me to post it on social media with the quote, “I am all powerful.”
Of course, I did not have a notebook or a recorder at the time, so I ended up misquoting him much later in the day and writing “I am the master of the world.” Pretty close, though. Still, a good teaching moment for a 30-year journalist.
School is coming back soon, but I hope Ollie and I can find more time for our 18-hole adventures. It won’t be long before he is beating his old man and making Shooter McGavin celebratory motions at this rate.
What a day that will be.
Matthew Osborne is the editor of The Northeast Georgian. Reach him at 706-778-4215 or editor@TheNortheastGeorgian.com.